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Tuesday, December 25, 2012

IGN Can't Draw Super Mario

Here at IGN, we're experts on video games. We know about them before anyone else knows about them. We play them before anyone else plays them. We consume them, day and night, until we can't possibly eat, sleep, or breathe another moment of video game-inspired madness.

So I figured we'd also be able to, say, draw the most memorable video game character of all time from memory. Right?

Actually, no. Absolutely not, in fact. The following results might shock you...

Andrew Goldfarb, Associate News Editor

Andrew has probably written hundreds of Super Mario related news stories since he started at IGN in 2011. That's no excuse for why he sees Mario as a melting, miserable husk of a man huddling through his final days of depression. Wahoo!

Anthony Gallegos, PC Editor

Meanwhile, Anthony couldn't even get his f*&$king overall colors down right.

Brian Altano, Executive Editor of News & Features

I drew Mario like a Macy's parade float fell in a gas station toilet, which is the same place I put my actual art degree, apparently.

Audrey Drake, Nintendo Editor

OK, Audrey is one of our resident Nintendo experts, so of course her drawing is one of the best. Still, he looks like a serial killer, so there's that.

Casey Lynch, IGN Editor in Chief

Casey did an amazing job of rendering Mario from head to toe. He just forgot about all the body parts between head and toe.

Christine Cain, Community Contributor

Christine's adorable take on the classic plumber is actually one of the least offensive of the bunch. We're getting better!

Ryan Clements, Features Editor

Nope, spoke too soon. Clements forgot his mustache. Which would be like forgetting Mickey Mouse's ears. Or  forgetting to wear clothes when you leave the house. What we're saying is Mario looks totally naked without it.

Colin Moriarty, PlayStation Editor

Colin's nihilistic take on French post-war Mario eschews shades of early contemporary watercolor... nah, who are we kidding. Colin reversed the pants colors, gave him a scarf instead of suspenders and turned him into a seedy Vegas repo man who moonlights as a back alley three cup Monte dealer.

Greg Miller

, Executive Editor of IGN PlayStation

No, Greg. Only you remember that. Nice nub, though. Did Mario lose a hand throwing fireballs?

Jon Rigg, Associate, Video Editor

Jon writes and edits the Daily Fix for us but it's only a matter of time before he's snatched up by bootleg t-shirt vendor artists at theme parks.

Mike Pereira, Segment Producer

I'm not sure why Mike thought Mario had a kangaroo pouch to go with his French beret, but I don't have the heart to tell him none of those things are real.

Mitch Dyer, Associate Editor of IGN Xbox

Mitch thinks that you can either A) catch Mario from above with a standard issue tiny wooden rodent trap or B) exchange his signature red hat with a Davy Crockett raccoon cap on the fly. No and no.

Steve Butts, Managing Editor

Wow! Steve wins this round for sure. Well played, sir, Well played. Oh, one last thing, though.

You forgot the "M" on his hat.

It stands for Mario. I guess we really can't draw Mario.

Brian Altano is IGN's Executive Editor of News & Features. He actually went to art school and has absolutely no excuse for his actions today. Be sure to follow him on Twitter at @agentbizzle.


Source : ign[dot]com

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