A joyous 2013, everyone. How are you, guys (and Samantha Flynn)? Been a while. I had a lovely holiday season, thank you. Filled with precious moments and tender shared sentiment that I'll cherish for as long as I shall...
Fine! Whatever! I'll write about wrestling. Shut up! You're so stupid!
Look, I realize that I didn't tell you I'd be taking a few weeks off, but I just figured it was street knowledge at this point. I go to the Television Critics Press Tour in January (and in July) and it takes a while. Those who follow me on Twitter will surely have noticed that almost all my twitterage contained the "#TCA13" hashtaggery. In fact, you probably unfollowed me because of it. Anyhow, I'm back to talk about The Rock, Punk, Eve, RAW's 20th something or other, and an abominable wedding that's supposed to take place on TNA this week.
IGN's 2012 Wrestling Year in Review
But before I start trying to write this Wrap Up in the middle of a Law & Order: SVU marathon, I wanted to give a shout out to whoever it was who got this "GDYC" sign front and center all through last week's RAW.
I love you, man. Like, a restraining order-type love. Like, a kind of "yes means no" love. Sorry. As I mentioned, there's an SVU marathon going on in the background.
Anyhow, I have a lot to cover since it's been a while, but fortunately that also means I can paint in the broadest strokes possible. We'll just talk big things. The Rock is back and, as of now, he and Punk have already faced off twice. The plan, which has been the plan since last summer, is for Rock to beat Punk at the Rumble and lose the title to Cena at 'Mania. There has, however, been some chatter about having Punk retain at the Rumble, with The Rock taking the belt at Elimination Chamber. I mean, either way, Rock's wrestling at Elimination Chamber, so that scenario could still work. But, most people still think Rock's gonna win at the Rumble, with Cena winning the Rumble itself, so they can just announce Rock vs. Cena right then and there.
I'm not going to get into The Rock and Punk's first showdown too much, other than to say that Punk kind of owned the entire thing. Because not only did he get the lead-in segment with his Second Coming of the All-Mighty Pipe Bomb, but he pretty much shut Rocky down with his "arms too short to box with God" comment. Here's the thing. Rock is great. He'll always entertain. But Cena didn't start beating (or tie-ing) him in verbal showdowns until Cena got serious. Punk's always serious. As a heel, he doesn't go for the jokes. And he'll also peel the curtain back just enough to make The Rock's joking around seem lightweight.
So there's that. Punk is just too serious, and his title reign is too long, for Rock's jokes to fully land. Then, last night, Punk effin' bum rushed The Rock. Just ran down the aisle after getting called out. What kind of heel does that? That was incredible. So now, Rock doesn't even have the intimidation factor that he normally would with a typical cowardly heel.
I mean, Rock might have called Punk to the ring, but Punk was the aggressor here.
So far, so good. They've done a good job of making this feud feel special. And making Punk, who's stock had fallen a bit due to injury (and Main Event wins due to Shield run-ins) feel formidable. And feel like a challenge that The Rock has never faced before. And I'm glad last night's episode ended with a brawl, because, and I'm sorry to say it, I think we're done kissing The Rock's ass as much as we did last year. The Rock has already committed to a longer stint, and way more TV dates than in 2012, so it'll be interesting to see how they freshen him up a bit, and steer him out of his usual skits.
By the by, it became apparent to me, over the past week, that due to region and/or age, some of you goons might not have ever heard of Carvel Ice Cream or Cookie Puss. So, have at it, shamedogs...
On a side note, having grown up in New York City in the '80s, I didn't have a freezer that got cold enough to properly hold ice cream. So I could never have a Cookie Puss cake. Or Fudgie the Whale. Therefore, it goes without saying, that I wasn't s***.
Also, let it be known that I'm kind of scared to google "Fudgie the Whale" in the days of modern internet.
RAW's 20th Anniversary, plus AJ climbs a cage, on page 2...
Source : ign[dot]com
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