Game Tips: Wrestling Wrap Up: Daniel Bryan Calls John Cena a Parody

It's hot, it's humid, I have a bug bite on my thumb - let's do this!

Sometimes - if segments, matches and surprises are spaced out correctly - three hours of RAW can dazzle and delight. But that's not something that seems to be manageable on a weekly basis. Most often, the show sits around like a bump on a log. Then you get shows like last night's episode that are unevenly entertaining. All the good stuff was shoved into the backend (that's what she said?), loading up the final hour with a great segment between Cena and Bryan, a Battle Royale won by RVD and Punk assaulting Brock with a production camera. Getting there, however, was a little mind-numbing. Even a little frustrating if you count Triple H shoving his big, bloated ego into the Cena/Bryan match as a special guest referee.

But the war of words between Cena and Bryan was tip-freakin'-top...

...wait for it...

Holy crap balls, that was on-target. And sure, the point/counter-point that happened between Cena and Bryan is nothing we haven't heard before. People have been calling Cena a joke for years and he always fires back with the list of all the people he's beaten (again, not a sign of being more skilled or adept), how long he's been doing what he's been doing, and how loyal he is to the company. But last night took it a bit further.

Even when Punk was pipe-bombing the joint, he never called Cena an outright parody. He just wanted to prove that he was better than him. Bryan's argument is getting into the "art of wrestling" itself; splitting a performer's passion into two halves.

See, there's the "I love the fans and feed off their undying energy" side of the equation. And then there's the "craft and skill of technical wrestling" side. Being able to work. Being able to pace things out and tell a story. Selling the right moves in the right way. And, as it stands, both men are firmly placed on either side of the passion fence. Cena is staunchly "it's all about the fans and their signs" while Bryan is more about the performance aspect. Being a wrestler's wrestler. But still, within that, is popping a crowd. More specifically though, popping a small crowd in a sweltering armory. So who wins this?

Both are important elements, but, you know what? Eff it. Bryan wins. Because Cena's love is too WWE-specific. And he's even said as much. He loves large crowds of screaming people. And he's said that he wouldn't ever wrestle for another company or, if he lost his job (right), in smaller venues. Even if those fans in the other company or the other venue were just as passionate as the WWE sign-o-verse. Is it about the money then? Who knows? Cena already has enough to live out the rest of his days like a hip-hop lumpkin. He doesn't need to wrestle ever again. But the fact that he flat-out said he wouldn't says a great deal. Brand loyalty over all. Over the art of pro-wrestling itself.

Oh yeah. And Ziggler live-tweeted last night. Helping us all get through it.

And really, I don't think I've ever seen the whole Wrestling vs. Entertainment argument played out on WWE TV so blatantly. It's been touched on before, but this had a bit more bite. And Bryan refusing to smack Cena in the end, deeming him unworthy, was freakin' crazy. I loved it.

I also liked when Cena compared his t-shirt to the American flag. Nice correlation, ya crank. "The shirts are about loyalty." Which is a weird way to say "The shirts are about royalties." At least it rhymed.

No one doubts Cena's commitment to the WWE or his work ethic. But let's not heap too much praise on something that maybe-perhaps is the equivalent of an attendance award. He's reliable and when he works with the right people, he can have great matches. In the end though, Cena brought up the fact that he, more than anyone else on the roster, is the end-all wish of terminally ill children. And that's the conversation ender. It's both why he'll never want to turn heel and why he'll constantly be the face of the company. And it's a huge, huge reason why so few people have risen up through the ranks over the past seven years. Because the old guard think it's enough if the new guys are able to go the distance with them. As stated last night, Bryan is expected to "put up a hell of a fight." The way it should be happening is that the new guys should be beating the old guard. They should be trading wins. Back and forth. Swapping titles until the young overtakes the old. Why isn't Wade Barrett main eventing? Why wasn't Ziggler allowed to beat Cena last year during their feud? There wasn't even a title on the line.

And why has Kofi never been allowed to win a Royal Rumble or a Battle Royale with one of his amazing moves? Like when he did the handstand walk? Or last night with the powerbomb hang? Those would have made for great rumble finishes. But he's now become the guy who will give us one amazing save, only to see it ultimately wasted as he's eliminated a minute later. Kofi's a perfect example of this whole issue. He's been in the mid-card so long that I'm bored to tears with him. With his music, his moves. He can't rise up now because the iron's no longer hot. He'd need a total repackaging, head to toe. And that's why I think they need to bring back the Papa Shango gimmick. Give it to Kofi. Turn him heel. They tried making him Jamaican, but he's still from West Africa. And they've got voodoo there. Imagine him coming out with the face paint, the hat and the staff. I'd give him all the titles.